Hurrah, half marathon season is upon us! The Great North Run has been and gone and the Royal Parks Foundation Half and Run to the Beat are looming…
But while your race day worries may be focused on turning up without shorts, breaking an ankle or doing a Paula, be warned there is something worse that could happen on race day. Something much, much worse.
YOU COULD BE BEATEN BY A CHEEKY GIRL!
Don’t let this unimaginable horror happen to you*. Go prepared with our handy guide to celebrity half marathon times and, if you’re struggling on the way round, just think of the shame you’d feel being overtaken by Jordan. Exactly. Enjoy your PB.
*It won’t, as far as we’re aware the Cheeky Girls aren’t running in any half marathons this year.
Sleb half marathon barometer
- Arg off of TOWIE
TOWIE’s Arg ran this year’s Great North Run in 2.35.27, making him the slowest celeb on our – totally exhaustive – barometer. Never mind Arg, we all know it’s the taking part that counts.
- Jordan (Katie Price)
Katie had a bit of a hard time of it in the Brighton half this year. She wore a lot of pink, which was nice, but a knee injury left her struggling to finish in 2.30.38.
- Cheeky Girls
Disappointingly, the Cheekies aren’t that bad, running 2.16.44 in the 2010 Royal Parks Foundation half marathon. They ran in fake eyelashes, full make-up and matching stripy outfits – think Ann Summers does sexy convict. The Cheekies rock.
- Helen Skelton
You know, the bird off Blue Peter? Did the 2009 Great North Run in 2.12. Which, when you consider she was pushing a guy in a wheelchair the whole way round, is pretty damn good.
- Fearne Cotton
2.01 in the 2011 Bath half. Bet that minute grated.
- Jenni Falconer
A regular marathon runner, Jenni finished this year’s Great North Run in a pretty speedy 1.42. She seems a very nice lady, so good for her.
- Ellie Goulding
Is Ellie still famous? Not sure, but she ran last year’s Run to the Beat in 1.42.42 anyway.
- Joe McElderry
Little geordie Joe from the X-Factor is not only a top recording artist – oh come on, who didn’t love The Climb? – he’s also pretty good at this running business. 1.36.37 in the GNR. Nice one Joe.
- Nell McAndrew
The undisputed queen of running celebs, Nell got a PB of 1.21.54 in the Bath half earlier this year. Disgustingly fast, just disgusting.
Any celeb sightings/gossip from your races? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
(Ps, in last year’s London Triathlon, Sporty Spice beat me by 21 seconds. Still not over it.)